Backbiting means to talk about a person, and say things about him when he is not there, in such a way as to displease him.
There are two words for backbiting, one is GHEEBAT, and the other is TOHMAT. When you speak about someone, and what you say is TRUE, then this is GHEEBAT. When you speak about someone, and what you say is FALSE, then this is TOHMAT.
GHEEBAT AND TOHMAT ARE BOTH HARAAM (FORBIDDEN)
The Holy Prophet (S) once said, "O Abu Zar, keep yourself away from backbiting because it is worse than adultery...... After committing adultery, if one repents, Allah forgives him, but the backbiter can not be pardoned unless he has been pardoned by the one about whom he has been backbiting."
In Qur'an Surah 49 Ayat 12, Allah tells us: "....And do not spy nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the dead flesh of his brother?"
This shows us that backbiting is as bad as eating the flesh of your dead brother. This means that once someone you know, i.e. your brother/sister in Islam has done something bad, they have killed their own reputation. By telling others what they have done, you are enjoying and gaining at their loss. It is as if you are eating and feasting on the reputation they have already destroyed.
In the early days of the first few Imams, there were two men. Let us call the first one Haroon and the second one Khalid.
One day Khalid started telling everybody bad things about Haroon. He was spreading lies all around. After a few days Haroon heard about this. The first thing he did was to go home and put all his money and gold and silver in a big bag and then took the bag to Khalid's house.
When Khalid saw Haroon coming he became scared because he thought that Haroon had come to beat him up. Khalid came out of his house and fell on his knees and begged to Haroon, "O Haroon, I am really sorry, I did not mean to tell tales about you, O please do not beat me!!"
Haroon said, "I have not come to beat you, I have come to give you this money, and this wealth." Khalid had the shock of his life.Haroon continued, " Khalid, I have come to thank you, here have this wealth of mine."
Khalid stood up and asked, "Why are you giving me wealth when I have insulted you and spoilt your name among the people?"
Haroon replied. "The Holy Prophet (S) has said that if one person TALKS BEHIND THE BACK of another, the Thawaab of the first person gets transferred to the second." he continued, "So now that you have spoken bad of me behind my back, I am thanking you for giving me all your Thawaab. This money is too little for the amount of Thawaab that you have given me."
It is the duty of a good Muslim to stop others from speaking ill of a person, and if that is not possible he should go away from the people who are talking ill.
Why are Gheebat and Tohmat Haraam?
They are Haraam because they spoil people's names and characters. When you speak badly of someone, you make others think badly of them.
Another reason why it is bad is because the people are not there to defend themselves. If you hear wicked things about others, you should give the others a chance to defend themselves by explaining, before you believe what you hear.
Imagine you saw someone you know go into a pub (a place where people go to drink alcohol). If you were to tell the world that this man has been drinking, then that is Tohmat. How do you know he was drinking? He could have broken down, and gone in the pub to use the phone, or ask directions.
Once there was a man who did tohmat of our Sixth Imam. Imam did no know about it until a few days later when one of his 'friends' came to him and said, "Oh Imam, I have heard terrible news. This person has been going around and saying this about you."
Imam became angry at his 'friend'. He said, "Think of the person who did tohmat towards me as if he shot an arrow at my body. I did not hear him so it is as if the arrow missed me; But by telling me this news, you have picked up the arrow from the ground and have hit me with it."
In Islam, you should always give the benefit of the doubt to others. Even if someone does do something bad, you should hide it, and not tell the whole world. How would you like it if Allah told the whole world the evil that you or I perform? We all commit sins at one time or another. If Allah can hide our faults, then you should hide the faults of others.
In Dua e Kumail, we say to Allah, "O He who covers defects..."
Gheebat and Tohmat are a result of Jealousy. If a person is respected, has done good, has helped others, there will always be people who are angry and bitter that such a person is respected by all. The result is to try and slander and destroy this reputation by sowing seed of venom in their character, by telling the world lies so that the respect turns to outrage and shame. Such people are cursed by Allah, and are referred to as the whispers of the evil whispers of mankind. (Suratun Naas)